For Reals This Time

That's right.  I am prepping for the marathon coming up in October and I have officially completed my first week of training.  I've declared my intent to run this marathon several times before in previous years, but this one has a good chance of sticking.  Why?  If for no other reason, I have actually begun training this year earlier than September.  I learned last year that starting to train on September 29th when the marathon took place on October 16th just wasn't going to cut it.  So, I downloaded my "Hal Higdon Novice I" training plan and made the commitment!  (Well, I haven't actually registered yet, but whateva...I'll get to it).

Anywho...all this talk of running has forced me to reevaluate my running wardrobe.   A wardrobe mostly made up of high school track and cross country shirts as well as the always-clever and slightly suggestive college sorority date party shirt.  Both genres of shirts are equally fug, but I also realized they all have dates on them...dates that begin in the mid-nineties.  Ugh!  As if my creaking knees after each run didn't make me feel old enough!  Here's a small sampling of what I have to work with:

Senior year...complete with my oh-so-cool nickname.  "Shness" doesn't really have a good ring to it.  And I'm no spelling bee winner, but is millennium spelled incorrectly?

It also happens to SCREAM my age

Another fugly age-screamer...and what's worse is that if you assume I'm a senior at this time, that would make me 31...WHICH I'M NOT!  I need every year I can get

Probably the fugliest high school shirt ever.  Leave it to Shawnee Mission West ;)

Let's move on to my college years...

Again with the date...and if you assume I'm a senior here and not a freshman, that would make me 33 or 34.  Not cool.  And I guess the phrase "Born To Ride" is open to interpretation...again...not cool

This one was to commemorate the smaller number of seniors that were left in our pledge class.  I actually had a Marine come up to me at the gym a couple years ago and ask if I had been one also.  I don't know who was more embarrassed after my answer...him for asking or me for having to say "no, it's just a sorority t-shirt".  Especially after he saw the front...

Classy.  Wait!  I do know who was more embarrassed...it was me

Then there's this shirt.  Unlike "Born To Ride", the thoughtful phrase "We turn boys into men..." needs no interpretation.  I need to burn this shirt

And this...which is just incredibly tie-die.  Isn't the hairy, middle-aged, bleach-topped skeezy cupid a charming touch? 

I also have the amazing talent of wearing my shirts in such a manner that they produce a hole in the left armpit, specifically.  How does that happen?

So I've decided to make my new training goal to enter as many road races along the way as I possibly can.  I'm going to build my new non-offensive, suggestive-phrase-free running t-shirts one race swag bag at a time.  I'm clearly in desperate need.  I'm surprised that phrase isn't on one of my sorority t's. So so desperate...I'll submit that one to the social chair.

Happy Friday and I hope you get and give lots of skanky suggestive t-shirts for Mother's Day!  
I'm totally kidding.   
Go for a run instead!