Friday, April 29, 2011

Stay at Home...Slob?

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Here are some major signs telling you your "stay-at-home-mom-style" (or lack thereof) has hit rock bottom: 
  • You're on the floor playing with your 18 month old when he toddles up behind you and gives you a wedgie.  After the hilarity wears off, you realize either you're wearing granny panties, or you're wearing sweatpants again...or both.

Okay...that one's kinda funny

  • Your husband comes in the door from work and rushes to take your child from your arms exclaiming "you must have had a rough day-you haven't even been able to shower!  Go upstairs and relax.  I'll take care of LG."  Ummm...that's actually very sweet, but I did in fact shower...and I put makeup on.  So...yeah.

Well, that one's not so bad I guess.  I do look a little tired...

  • You get home from running errands and immediately shed your stretchy yoga pants for a much more comfortable pair of men's sweatpants.  Because yoga pants are so restricting...

    Ok, Ok...I'll admit...when yoga pants start to feel uncomfortable...that's bad.  But maybe it's just that particular brand of yoga pant? 

    • Your husband very delicately asks you if sports bras are really that much more comfortable than "normal" bras

    Umm...the sports bras I wear are more comfortable!  And I'm saving money by not purchasing expensive bras, right?

    • You spot a sorority sister you haven't seen in a couple years at Target and immediately avoid eye contact so you don't have to be a normal, social person and say hello.  The reason being you made the awesome decision to not shower or brush your teeth.  You also decided to clothe yourself in a pair of ill-fitting exercise pants with a yogurt-stained running jacket from your high-school days (that hasn't been used for running since).  Of course, you're not trying to be vain...you just don't want to scare her children.  Or knock her out with your amazing breath.  

    Okay...that's starting to get bad.  Now my slobby-ness is starting to determine my social-ness.  I'm thinking about counseling...

    • The doorbell rings unexpectedly and you peek out the window to see the exterminator is at the door.  Before you can answer, you must quickly change from one pair of sweatpants to a more "presentable" pair of sweatpants so as not to look trashy.  You then come to the sad realization that, not only did you feel under-dressed for the exterminator, but you have a "trashy" pair of sweatpants and a more "formal" pair of sweatpants.  

    Things are getting worse.  Do I really categorize sweatpants in my mind?  And even worse...make a distinction between "trashy" ones and "formal" ones?  Is the phrase "formal sweatpants" an oxymoron?  Aren't all sweatpants kinda trashy?  Ugh...my brain hurts!

    • You start to consider showering "dressing up".  As in:  "What are you wearing to dinner?"  "Well, I'm going to shower, so..."

      Well...that might be rock bottom.  Showering is not a viable outfit option.  It's more like a requirement, no?  Time for a change perhaps?  In fact, as I type, I am wearing one of Gumshoe's sweatshirts and a pair of his athletic shorts.  AND my child is not wearing any pants.  When the children start to suffer... 



      Oh well!  Happy Friday and I hope your weekend is filled with sweatpants style! 

        2 comments:

        HannahM said...

        Ya that's the most amazingly stay at home mom- clothing summary! well done. trashy and formal sweatpants....he, he. I'm still laughing.

        Tobe | BIA said...

        i can't wait for this!!!! :)

        mind you, my bball sweats from hs are still in heavy rotation....despite the fact that the elastic is totally useless around the waist. so i rock the "hold your pants up when you walk, dear gangsta" look around here.

        at least the exterminator will know not to mess with me.

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