Conversations That Make Me Smile

Some recent conversations that have made me grin

Biting Convo

Scene:  Samuel throwing a tantrum and taking a bite out of the toss pillow...

Me:    "Samuel Robert!  We don't bite the cushion.  We don't bite anything!"

Sam:    Pausing thoughtfully from his tantrum and stating rather matter-of-factly...

     "Well...we bite apples."

Well...yes we do 

Vegetarian Dinner Convo

Scene:  Andy and I driving to bible study.  Me preparing Andy for the following night's dinner (I say "preparing" because he's a meat and potatoes kinda guy)

Me:  "Since Tobe is coming for dinner tomorrow and I don't want to make 2 different meals, we're having cucumber and tomato sandwiches and couscous salad"

(Anticipating his sarcastic response)

Andy:  "Will there be meat on the sandwiches?"

Me: "No"

Andy: "Will you defrost those steaks for me and I'll grill them when I get home?"

Me: "Yes" (surprised by the lack of sarcastic response)

Andy:  After a few minutes..."You silly women and your tiny food."

That's my guy

Boo Boo Convo

Scene: Sam crying from an imaginary boo boo

Sam: Kiss it mama.  Kiss it!
Me: Kissing his made-up injury "Is that better, bud?" (This usually does the trick)
Sam: "No.  I need to watch a little bit of TV and eat some M&Ms.  That will make it better."

Manipulator

Maternity Clothing Convo

Scene:  Me irrationally lamenting to Andy that I have to spend precious dollars on summer maternity clothing

Me:  "Ugh!  I hate wasting money on clothing that's just going to make me feel like a whale."

Andy:  "Well, just have the baby and then wear the clothes and they will make you feel skinny"

Probably true

Thunder Convo

Scene: Thunderstorm during Sam's bedtime routine.  He'd already looked out the window a million times.

Sam:  "I wanna look out the window at the clouds"

Me:  "Sam, you need to follow mommy's instructions and get into bed"

Sam: "Mommies say no because they get to look at thunder whenever they want"

Poor kid.  It's been a long week of no's

Parenting Fail Convo

Scene:  Lunchtime

Me: "Sam, what would you like for lunch?"

Sam: "A sandwich"

Me: "What kind of a sandwich?"

Sam: "A sugar sandwich"

Fail

Easter Convos

#1: Scene: Attempting to explain Easter story through the use of Resurrection Eggs.

Me: "What do you think is in the next egg?" (after revealing the egg with the "nails" that represent the crucifixion)

Sam: "A band-aid"

Logical

#2:  Scene:  Bedtime on Easter and re-capping the day.  Trying to reiterate what we've learned about Jesus

Me:  "So Sammy...who do we celebrate on Easter?"

Sam: "Grandpa"

Well...he's a great guy, but he's no resurrected Jesus.   We'll try again next year.


Brown Convo
Scene: Reading books at bedtime, Sam pointing to a brown doggy

Sam: "Mommy, is that doggy brown?"
Me: "Yes, that's a brown doggy"
Sam: "Brown like poop?"

Well, yes.


Vitamin Convo
Scene: Sam quietly talking to his elephant-shaped multivitamin 

Sam: "Oh baby elephant!  Do you miss your mommy?"
"Do you want to go see her?"
"Oh, that's okay.  I going to take care of you!"
"Baby elephant, you are so cute!"
"Now I'm going to eat you."

From the mouths of babes...and husbands.