You Know You Married a Cop When...

A quick family outing to our local Homegoods turns into Gumshoe getting 3 felony arrests while I drive our hangry (hungry+angry=hangry)toddler home by myself.

We knew something was up when we were walking through the parking lot and passed several wig-wearing women piling out of their beat up ride like clowns at a circus.  We then observed them shove bags of merchandise into their already packed full (of tagged clothing) trunk.  By the by...they use the wigs to quickly switch their looks up in order to trip up the cops so they can't ID them.  Crafty clowns!

I could see the gears turning in Gumshoe's head when he casually turns to me and says "I forgot something in the car...I'll meet you inside".  Which is actually code for: "I recognize these people and I now have reasonable suspicion so I will be circling back to get the LP number so that I can call dispatch and have them run the plates in case they have warrants."

Knowing this, I began calculating how long I could entertain LG before T-Minus Meltdown.  Turns out, I can entertain him for 2 hours...not too shabby considering it was dinnertime.  Here's a phone pic of what we did.  We pulled all the books off the display about 20 times.  We looked at LOTS of home decor.  We sat in all sorts of different chairs.  And my personal favorite: We shouted random vowels and consonants at our fellow customers as they walked by.  
Sidenote: You may be able to see in the pic-LG's little hand has mutated into a snack trap.  We were worried about the effect this might have on  any future athletic endeavors, but so far it has proven to be very convenient!

Back to the story...
We ended up having to leave Gumshoe to deal with the Insane Clown Posse while we went home to eat dinner.  I mean, once the snacks ran out there were only so many times I could circle the store before LG turned into Jack-Jack from The Incredibles and before I started to look like a bag lady trying to stay warm.  And let's be honest...mistaking me for a bag lady at that point wouldn't have been too much of a stretch as I had not only neglected to shower, but to brush my teeth as well.  I was chewing gum people, 'kay?  I know...Gumshoe is one lucky guy!  

3 hours and 3 felony arrests later, Gumshoe arrived back home in time to put LG to bed.  

That Gumshoe-he never forgets a face which is great for him, but an occupational hazard for me b/c Gumshoe "forgets something in the car" a lot.  
Like the time we were out to eat and he noticed a couple that he'd arrested before that also happened to have a no contact order with each other...
Or that other time when we were driving to meet some friends and Gumshoe recognized a driver passing us as someone with a warrant he'd been looking for all week.  Needless to say, we were an hour and a half late to meet our friends.

Oh well.  I'm taking full credit for all 3 arrests since I chose to go to Homegoods over Hobby Lobby.  I'm sure that will fly.  I'm expecting citizen's award anytime now!